I have a headache. They occur quite often. Tension headaches, caused mostly by repressing urges, mental ambivalence and most other forms of frustration.

The feeling itself is an odd one. Not able to be perceived as pain but rather, a sensation. Potentially the feeling of pressure. You would think solving the problem causing the frustration would end the sensation. It doesn’t.

Typically to end the sensation, an understanding must be reached. Acceptance of an unwanted reality.

The unwanted reality being contemplated today? It seems impossible for members of the female sex not to cheat.

Sure they may go years before the situation consistising of the right variables occurs, but it’s a matter of time and chance rather than character of the woman in question.

This has been explored through research. I am not willing to put in the effort to link the study. My convincing you won’t solve the problem and you typically need some sort of research related credentials to access peer reviewed studies anyways. It may have been printed in a large enough journal that it can be found through a Google search. Good luck.

Anyways, the study consisted of hooking up men and women, gay and straight, to machines measuring physiological indications of arousal. Then the men and women were shown images and videos and asked to report if they become aroused or not.

According to the answers given by the participants, men typically responded as expected, with both gay and straight men providing similar results via self and machine reports. Lesbians also seemed to provide a self report similar to that given by the devices monitoring for signs of physical arousal. Straight women however, reported only being turned on by a very small percentage of what they were shown. The reports given by the monitoring devices? They stated that the straight women had in fact physically responded to approximately 90% of what was shown. It did not matter if it was animals having sex or what. Women became physically aroused and reported otherwise.

It gets better.

While the reason for false self reporting was not explored, a hypothesis looking into why the straight women were turned on by such a high number of the images and videos was provided.

Apparently, the women who managed to survive the ever inspiring (sarcasm) process of evolution, were those who responded positively to the forced procreation that has been practised since life began.

So, what’s this have to do with my headache? Well my “feelings” indicate a desire for monogamy. Something which, all empirical evidence seems to indicate as not possible. However ones interpretation of personal experience can be warped by many things and can therefore not be trusted without question. It’s quite easy to remove any significance of an unwanted realization simply by attributing it to narcissism. So my feelings and understanding of monogamy were that it was possible and only required finding an appropriate mate whilst becoming capable of trust. As long as I believed it possible, it had to be possible. This was motivated solely by desire though. Making it basically my desire for monogamy versus the evidence against monogamy in a battle dictating my behavior.

Which brings me to the problem at hand. Do I reject my current mate in hopes of a monogamous reality being made possible, or do I accept it as not possible, quit asking for it, quit giving it, and shutoff all desires concerning it?

Still I “want” to choose to strive for monogamy, but the potential damage done by experiencing anything other than monogamy, enforced by the evidence suggesting it as impossible, is simply to much for someone  to handle and stay sane.

The only way it would seem possible to maintain sanity is to do what everyone else does and advocate monogamy while taking advantage of certain opportunities and accepting the reality that is cheating.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this but please keep the “I would never cheat” comments to a minimum. Your word carries no weight.

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4 thoughts on “June 16th, why women can’t not cheat.

  1. Your desire is a beautiful, honest reflection of your essence as a product of your maker who IS love, who IS faithful and who will NEVER leave you. Your honest reflection of yourself is by nature your identification with your Eternal Soul. Only God can provide that complete and total faithfulness to us. But, it is right to expect to be a faithful person to one other and to expect it from another. However, because we are broken in many ways in our fleshly existence we can mutually offer forgiveness when we fall because we all do. Although I may not fall in unfaithfulness my partner might. I would be falling in another area and can use my sorrow over my failures and the way it affects others as my basis to forgive my partner if it applies in the area of unfaithfulness. If that person my partner, does not want to come back to their original vow to me, then I have a choice to make as to whether I want to continue in a relationship where my feelings and desires for monogamy from them is or is not important to them anymore. These are harsh realities but I believe only in God can our deepest needs to be met which are summed up in the uestion, “Am I worthy to be loved?” Also I believe we can find the Deep true, ability to forgive, because of the fact that our deepest needs are being met by God himself. Only with that deep security can we allow a person to be forgiven who does not perfectly meet that need of ours. Otherwise we live our whole life trying to get it from people and then we hold them responsible for having hurt us when they can never be perfect anyway and we should only be going to God for that deep need to be loved in a perfect way. I love your reflection. It’s very honest. It has a lot to teach about where our source of this deep honest desire comes from. Don’t shut that off! Use it to find the deeper source of what you need! This actually works in life. My learning this allows me the power to now always be grateful for what I get from people because my deepest needs ARE met already by only God! It gives me the strength and power to live in a world that is broken because in spite of its brokenness I can stay truthful to my deepest Souls needs because God meets them. People don’t have to now. It allows me to be a giver not a taker…a true paradigm shift. Wonderful reflection thank you!

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